Back Up & Running
I'm sure the LARGE gap in time reveals itself as problems or tribulations without an explanation.
Needless to say, without going into much detail, the "perfect" IPs I thought I had found, were nothing but phoney. I should have paid attention to all the red flags. I knew BEFORE even signing contracts how they treated a potential other surrogate and I still ignored it and went on....thinking everyone gets crossed wires and things happen....but the constant non-communication and it always being about them.....then practically phoning in the last three insems......Aarggghhhh....I won't go there. I don't want to address it with anger and obviously I still can't talk about it without being angry.
But through it all, I've gained a new best friend....G......A local gal who was thinking about pursuing surrogacy when we began talking 6 months ago. She's followed me through everything and always been there. She's listened to me cry, scream, vent, laugh, and wonder "why?" so many times. We're so much alike that we'll send emails at the same time, asking the same thing....It's hilarious. And now it looks like we might try a surrogacy together.
I couldn't imagine trying surrogacy again with a "stranger". I would never be able to get over the feeling that the IPs feelings were faked, exaggerated, forced, or not genuine. With G, we never once thought we'd do a surrogacy together. She just wanted to know how a surrogacy would proceed in VA and had general questions. Then we chatted and kept chatting. The friendship and knowledge of each other was first, before the surrogacy. I trust her with my feelings, which is ALOT at this time. Because no matter how much I say I am angry, I can't express the depth, width, and breadth of the hurt that I am actually feeling. I was left to "fend for myself" after miscarrying. How could that be a good decision at any time by anyone? Anywho....I see I digress....and I'm about moving FORWARD not back.
So, it looks like I'll be cycling again in March. And the WONDERFUL thing is that Ms. G ((ANNA>>>>how's that for coincidence?)) lives only 2-3 hours away....and we talk ALL the time!
Because it is so fresh, I know it's hard to remember that even a bumpy road takes you where you're meant to go.....but that's how I'm trying to look at my past experience and I'm only focussing on the future!
Needless to say, without going into much detail, the "perfect" IPs I thought I had found, were nothing but phoney. I should have paid attention to all the red flags. I knew BEFORE even signing contracts how they treated a potential other surrogate and I still ignored it and went on....thinking everyone gets crossed wires and things happen....but the constant non-communication and it always being about them.....then practically phoning in the last three insems......Aarggghhhh....I won't go there. I don't want to address it with anger and obviously I still can't talk about it without being angry.
But through it all, I've gained a new best friend....G......A local gal who was thinking about pursuing surrogacy when we began talking 6 months ago. She's followed me through everything and always been there. She's listened to me cry, scream, vent, laugh, and wonder "why?" so many times. We're so much alike that we'll send emails at the same time, asking the same thing....It's hilarious. And now it looks like we might try a surrogacy together.
I couldn't imagine trying surrogacy again with a "stranger". I would never be able to get over the feeling that the IPs feelings were faked, exaggerated, forced, or not genuine. With G, we never once thought we'd do a surrogacy together. She just wanted to know how a surrogacy would proceed in VA and had general questions. Then we chatted and kept chatting. The friendship and knowledge of each other was first, before the surrogacy. I trust her with my feelings, which is ALOT at this time. Because no matter how much I say I am angry, I can't express the depth, width, and breadth of the hurt that I am actually feeling. I was left to "fend for myself" after miscarrying. How could that be a good decision at any time by anyone? Anywho....I see I digress....and I'm about moving FORWARD not back.
So, it looks like I'll be cycling again in March. And the WONDERFUL thing is that Ms. G ((ANNA>>>>how's that for coincidence?)) lives only 2-3 hours away....and we talk ALL the time!
Because it is so fresh, I know it's hard to remember that even a bumpy road takes you where you're meant to go.....but that's how I'm trying to look at my past experience and I'm only focussing on the future!
