A Surrogate's Journey
VASurroMom.easyjournal.com
Female, 38
Richmond, VA  United States
My name is Susan and I am a 35 year old Virginia woman looking to become a surrogate for a wonderful family. My husband is Daniel, and we have 4 children. My older two are from my first marriage and are 17 1/2 years old (girl) and 14 year old boy. Daniel and I have a set of 5 year old twins - Dylan and Dakota, both boys. I love my children and can't imagine the want that could be overwhelming when unable to bear children. The love, laughter and pure joy that my children bring me every day leads me on this journey.
2.7.2006
Back Up & Running
I'm sure the LARGE gap in time reveals itself as problems or tribulations without an explanation.

Needless to say, without going into much detail, the "perfect" IPs I thought I had found, were nothing but phoney. I should have paid attention to all the red flags. I knew BEFORE even signing contracts how they treated a potential other surrogate and I still ignored it and went on....thinking everyone gets crossed wires and things happen....but the constant non-communication and it always being about them.....then practically phoning in the last three insems......Aarggghhhh....I won't go there. I don't want to address it with anger and obviously I still can't talk about it without being angry.

But through it all, I've gained a new best friend....G......A local gal who was thinking about pursuing surrogacy when we began talking 6 months ago. She's followed me through everything and always been there. She's listened to me cry, scream, vent, laugh, and wonder "why?" so many times. We're so much alike that we'll send emails at the same time, asking the same thing....It's hilarious. And now it looks like we might try a surrogacy together.

I couldn't imagine trying surrogacy again with a "stranger". I would never be able to get over the feeling that the IPs feelings were faked, exaggerated, forced, or not genuine. With G, we never once thought we'd do a surrogacy together. She just wanted to know how a surrogacy would proceed in VA and had general questions. Then we chatted and kept chatting. The friendship and knowledge of each other was first, before the surrogacy. I trust her with my feelings, which is ALOT at this time. Because no matter how much I say I am angry, I can't express the depth, width, and breadth of the hurt that I am actually feeling. I was left to "fend for myself" after miscarrying. How could that be a good decision at any time by anyone? Anywho....I see I digress....and I'm about moving FORWARD not back.

So, it looks like I'll be cycling again in March. And the WONDERFUL thing is that Ms. G ((ANNA>>>>how's that for coincidence?)) lives only 2-3 hours away....and we talk ALL the time!

Because it is so fresh, I know it's hard to remember that even a bumpy road takes you where you're meant to go.....but that's how I'm trying to look at my past experience and I'm only focussing on the future!

2.6.2006
A "Hidden" Post from October
Original Post
Posted on 10.24.2005 12:58 AM

****WARNING***** This post has ALOT of venting in it....All my personal feelings pent up from the beginning to now are just bubbling over....I would recommend any IPs not read this unless you are ready to accept the fact that somewhere down the line, your surrogate might feel these things too.......Proceed at your own risk! Of course those who read this probably know where I'm coming from.

By no means do I mean to sound threatening to not read this....I just want people to know it might stir up feelings that are best let be.







So let me just go down the list.

I'm tired of feeling like the weight of the world is on me
I'm tired of feeling like I need to "edit" what I say on SMO
I'm tired of feeling like I'm an open book but others are not
I'm tired of feeling responsible, for everything
I'm tired of questioning my physical symptoms and then coming up negative
I'm tired of questioning myself
I'm confused
I feel very alone right now in this journey except for my DH
I'm angry
I'm hurt
I'm tired of feeling like I'm unjustified in my expenses
I'm tired of feeling complacent and like I don't stand up for myself
I'm tired of feeling guilty for getting money at all for surrogacy
I feel misled
I'm hurt
I'm scared
I'm in the two week wait again
I want to go into my bedroom, shut the door, crawl into bed, ignore the phone, and escape

Please, God, let this just be hormones!
1.10.2006
Recovering & Waiting. .
looks like we'll get geared up in February. Using January to rest and recover.

1.4.2006
What now?
It looks like this journey is over for me. Last night I woke up with a medium amount of bleeding..and it continued into the morning. But no pain. Except for this unrelenting headache.

This morning when I called the doctor, due to the cycle day and the clomid, the on again/off again HPT tests....they just consider it a very early miscarraige and AF starting.

I am at work because I just couldn't sit home all day thinking about it. I talked to IM this morning and told her. I've cried since 11pm last night but to hear her heart break like that devestated me all over again.

To try so hard and think we had done it....to be let down.............I don't know if I can EVER do that to someone again. Give so much hope and then jerk it out from under them. Because that's what it feels like I did. How other surrogates face a miscarriage and then go on to try again, it amazes me. What makes me feel even worse is telling them on the phone. I feel so cold so heartless.

And now I sit and wonder....what now?
12.30.2005
Happy Dancing Instead!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WE GOT A BFP!!!!!!! WE GOT A BFP!!!!!!! WE GOT A BFP!!!!!!! WE GOT A BFP!!!!!!! WE GOT A BFP!!!!!!! WE GOT A BFP!!!!!!! WE GOT A BFP!!!!!!! WE GOT A BFP!!!!!!! WE GOT A BFP!!!!!!! WE GOT A BFP!!!!!!! WE GOT A BFP!!!!!!! WE GOT A BFP!!!!!!! WE GOT A BFP!!!!!!! WE GOT A BFP!!!!!!! WE GOT A BFP!!!!!!! WE GOT A BFP!!!!!!! WE GOT A BFP!!!!!!! WE GOT A BFP!!!!!!! WE GOT A BFP!!!!!!! WE GOT A BFP!!!!!!! WE GOT A BFP!!!!!!! WE GOT A BFP!!!!!!! WE GOT A BFP!!!!!!! WE GOT A BFP!!!!!!! WE GOT A BFP!!!!!!! WE GOT A BFP!!!!!!! WE GOT A BFP!!!!!!! WE GOT A BFP!!!!!!! WE GOT A BFP!!!!!!! WE GOT A BFP!!!!!!! WE GOT A BFP!!!!!!! WE GOT A BFP!!!!!!! WE GOT A BFP!!!!!!! WE GOT A BFP!!!!!!! WE GOT A BFP!!!!!!! WE GOT A BFP!!!!!!! WE GOT A BFP!!!!!!! WE GOT A BFP!!!!!!! WE GOT A BFP!!!!!!! WE GOT A BFP!!!!!!! WE GOT A BFP!!!!!!! WE GOT A BFP!!!!!!! WE GOT A BFP!!!!!!! WE GOT A BFP!!!!!!! WE GOT A BFP!!!!!!! WE GOT A BFP!!!!!!! WE GOT A BFP!!!!!!! WE GOT A BFP!!!!!!! WE GOT A BFP!!!!!!! WE GOT A BFP!!!!!!! WE GOT A BFP!!!!!!! WE GOT A BFP!!!!!!! WE GOT A BFP!!!!!!! WE GOT A BFP!!!!!!! WE GOT A BFP!!!!!!! WE GOT A BFP!!!!!!! WE GOT A BFP!!!!!!! WE GOT A BFP!!!!!!! WE GOT A BFP!!!!!!! WE GOT A BFP!!!!!!!
February 2006
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